Tomorrow I'm supposed to go to the Dentist and have a filling put in.

And I can't.

I've been crying and miserable since Wednesday morning, I just can't make myself. I could probably drive there, park, walk in, sit down, get in the chair and then I don't know... last time I did that I freaked out and they had to stop and it just made it all worse.

Tomorrow John is going to phone up and tell them how bad my phobia is, and fingers crossed they will understand and keep me on their books - this is the third time I've cancelled this appointment.

I am spending tomorrow looking into some sort of therapy for my phobias. I am well aware that one day this could be life threatening - I mean, look how ill I was last time my teeth needed looking at!

I am upset and embarrassed and very disapointed in myself.