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Random stuff from the Bronster... especially good to read if you happen to like me.

Friday, April 23, 2010

AN OPEN LETTER TO MY CAT


Binx

I got you in 1997, I orginally wanted a tabby cat like my last cat who was then in America with my parents. So I went to the Cat Protection League in Preston to see this big Tabby.

He looked miserable. But I still wanted him. I was then guilt tripped into getting you by the woman who owned the place. She said that you had been in a car accident, lost the use of one eye and had had your hips reset, that you had also had a litter of kittens that had died. I will admit, I thought you looked a bit ugly, with one eye that was all glazed over, and half an ear, but I felt something for you, so you came home with me.
For a good few months you lived in my wardrobe, only coming out for food or to use the litter tray. You soon moved to the big oak chest downstairs which was your favourite place to sit under.
When there was company (mostly Adam at that point) you'd hide. But slowly over time you became a bit more confident.
When Keya moved in you started to come out of your shell a little more (although Keya always said she
didn't like you, I think she did really).
In late 1999 I got another cat, Kitty. It was probably the worst decision I made regarding you. All the confidence you gained over the previous three years drained out of you. He was so boystrous and that just wasn't your style.
So for a few years you retreated again, never wanted to be in the same room as him. But we still had our quiet time. I was still the only person you'd happily sit on (until someone made a noise or moved of course).
When I lived in Surrey (2002-2003) it was weird not having a little ball of black fluff wanting to sit on me while I was trying to do my work. And when I first moved to Manchester and had to leave you at home again... you were never far from my mind. I was happy when I found out that you could come and live with us in Manchester.
You never tried to escape, you were quite happy being an indoor cat. Which was good, as I was so scared that if you got out you'd get lost or run over.
You then came to live with me, Chris and Dug in Longsight, where we had many cute times.

When I first went to live with John, we found a perfect place! By this stage you'd been living with Chris for a good few months. Unfortunately our perfect place would not allow pets. I sat in Frankie and Benny's in Didsbury and cried because I was so happy, but so sad that I couldnt' get you back. John didn't understand why I was upset, and I couldnt' explain to him that you weren't just a cat, you were more like a child to me. He just didnt' get it.
After a year I decided (prompted by Chris's landlord) that it was time to get you no matter what. So we sneaked you in and didn't let on that you were in the flat.
You probably could tell that John wasn't too happy you were there, he was convinced he was going to be allergic to you... but after a few weeks he realised he wasn't. What luck! So it was time to work your charms on John, like you had on so many other people in the past.

This year, when I came back from America you seemed to be coughing quite a lot. We were so busy the following months trying to buy the flat we now all live in, that I didnt' notice how ill you were getting. The week we moved it was apparent that you had just stopped moving, you were barely breathing. I didn't know what to do... I made an appointment for the vets in Chorley but I would have to wait a week. Denise suggested a place which was down the road from me, so I took you there. They are very nice there, and they looked after you. They told me it looked like a heart defect, or a thyroid problem. Both were treatable.
I took you in for your Xrays and went to work.
I made a big mistake calling to see how you were just before teaching a lesson. They told me over the phone that you had a tumour in your lung and that there was very little they could do.
I had to sit in the toilets and cry before pulling myself together to go and teach. All I could think about was going to pick you up so I could cuddle you again.

Since then you've got better! Back to constantly jumping on my knee the SECOND I sit down, waking me up lying on my side or tapping me on the face! But I know it's only temporary. I just have to sit and wait for you to get ill enough that... well.. then that's it isn't it.


You have touched so many lives in your short time here. When we lived in Copson St I know that Ben and Dug enjoyed your company. When you lived with Chris I know he was very close to you, even though he ignored me when I told him you were dying.... John especially has gone from being someone who never dreamed of ever being around a cat, to being your daddy (I can hear him talking to you when he thinks I'm not around).


Binx you've seen me through 5 break ups, 4 house moves, living alone for the first time in my life, multiple upsets, many happy times... this morning you woke me up coughing and wheezing. It made me very sad... I'm not ready for you to go yet, so, can you just knock it off? Please?

love Bron
xx

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