My blog is pants...

Random stuff from the Bronster... especially good to read if you happen to like me.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

I'm feeling really vulnerable today... so to combat that I thought I would write a list of things that would normally make me more vulnerable, but today may empower me... we'll see... I may delete it if it doesn't work.

Things people usually don't know about me:

I am very sensitive, the slightest thing said, even in jest, can make me miserable for weeks
I fall in love easily, but have trouble making close friends
I have trichotillomania and dermatillomania (to a lesser degree)
I hate confrontation
Phone calls worry me
I usually think the worst of a situation
I hate shopping on my own, and will rarely do it unless I'm feeling confident that day
As far as I'm concerned, asking people to hang out with me is putting them in an awkward situation
A lot of the time I feel worthless
I rarely feel proud of my accomplishments, but feel very proud of people I love
My family mean more to me than I let on
I don't want kids because I'm frightened I will screw them up and be disapointed in them (not to mention the process)
I still care about all of my exes (and still talk to all 4 of them too)
I hate my face, but don't mind my body
I used to want to be a boy
I appear to take people for granted, but it's really just because I would do what I ask in return in a heartbeat and not expect any thanks
I try to run away from things rather than deal with them
Real emotions are too hard for me to deal with
I am terrified of injections - if I had a horrible disease I would be more worried about the needle than the disease
Embarrasment, guilt and disapointment are the emotions I fear the most
I used to pray every night until I was about 13
I have an addictive personality - this is one of the reason's I have never tried drinking
Hearing about young people drinking, smoking and taking drugs can sometimes upset me to tears
I genuinley hate babies, they annoy me so much I have to get away from them, they envoke an instant tension and anger inside me
I am frightened of what lurks in my mind
If I had more money I'd have a gambling problem
I wish I had the confidence to do more performing, cos I love it
I feel teaching is what I was born to do
If anything goes wrong it feels like my fault
If anything goes wrong it feels like it NEEDS to be my fault
I hurt myself if I feel stupid
I worry I will never be happy
I'm not a horrible person, I just mess up a lot
I feel sorry for myself a lot (see above)


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