My blog is pants...

Random stuff from the Bronster... especially good to read if you happen to like me.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Why people have babies - a few suggestions:

1) There is nothing else to do, you've got to the stage in your life where you've completed everything else. You are comfortable, you have enough money, you have a partner, possibly even a cat or a dog - there is nothing else. So the next step is children.

2) You are an emotional cripple who would rather care about something else than themself. For example - say you worry about things, wouldn't you rather worry about ONE thing rather than a whole host of things? So have a baby and then you only have to worry about that. Focus all your anxieties onto the child.

3) All your friends are doing it. So therefore you feel you should also.

4) To appease your parents

5) Similar to there is nothing else to do - there is nothing in your life. So to add more meaning you spawn a baby. Then you can have the affection that you crave, and feel worthy and worthwhile - also you may get a house.

6) You are so besotted with your partner you think it may be a good idea to show how much you love each other by committing to having a baby. They are cheaper than the average wedding.

7) You are worried you will be alone when you're old.

8) You need a door stop.

9) You have missed your opportunity to acheive anything and therefore need to prove you have working bodily parts. This also means you can have your second childhood without feeling like the weirdo down the road who still goes outside and skates in the street.

10) You want a bigger car.

11) You want a bigger house.

12) You are a careless teenager.

13) You think you know what you're letting yourself in for.

14) You like to go to resturants and shops and make other people hate you and your snotty child through the amount of screaming and moaning and hitting random people with toy cars... etc

15) You secretly wish you could piss in the street without getting fined, so you get your kid to do it for you.

16) Your partner is allergic to pets.

17) You love people looking at your lady bits.

18) You want to carry on your family name, and then are disapointed when it's a girl.

19) There was no Morning After Pill available.

20) You want to give up your life for at least the next 18 years.... at least.

2 Comments:

  • At March 28, 2008 1:43 pm, Blogger Rachel said…

    Actually it pretty much all comes down to being biologically wired to have babies. We don't have them - human race is no more. People have babies to keep the human race alive.

    And you're very lucky they do otherwise you wouldn't exist.

    All in all a much better motivation than any reason someone has to get a cat.*

    ;)

    *Note - I love cats.

     
  • At March 28, 2008 1:58 pm, Blogger Bron said…

    true

    I wanted to write a positive one - but I suppose it's not in my nature where this topic is concerned...

    I'm sure people are very happy having kids - personally, I don't have the want or need... so I find it hard to understand why others do...

    A lot of the less whimsical stuff up there is based on people I know.

     

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