My blog is pants...

Random stuff from the Bronster... especially good to read if you happen to like me.

Saturday, July 31, 2004

OK - is Harry Enfield doing Burger King adverts in the UK?? Cos he is over here - freaked us out! (That's me Pij and Steven... yes they arrived safe and sound).
Just got back from Milwaukee, went to watch another Milwaukee match... the guys loved it... the second half was slow for me, but I think it's cos my camera broke and I was a bit sad :(
Washington was lovely, it was like being back with my adopted family again, as it were. They lokoed after me so well last year it was great to go back and see them all again, and only a few will be in Milwaukee this year, so I was really pleased I got to see them.
Made some more new pals tonight me thinks.
I am going to HAVE to go to bed now as it's 1am... taking the guys to Madison tomorrow then to watch Atlas Improv downtown (the old madison team), it was a great show last week, hope this weeks is as good

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

Well, here I am in sunny (ahem) Washington DC.  So far I have eaten a shed load of pizza and hung out with pals... sounds boring but, hey, for those of you who know me, you know that's what I do to 'relax' (or as close as I ever get to that).
Had an interesting first night here... after saying goodbye to someone I didn't know (I was taken to a farewell party for a guy and his wife and child... as you do, lol) I got back to Matts and was getting changed for bed when I looked down and thought, shit I've got another mole, I've not seen that before... on closer inspection my mole turned out to have LEGS!  This is when the freaking out began.  i realised very quickly there was a tick attached to me!  Again, for those of you who know me I cannot stand ANYTHING that sucks blood, ARGH!  So i quickly finished getting changed and ran like a child to Matt to help me (he's a teacher, he'd know what to do)... he quickly called a friend to ask what to do then looked it up on the internet... ha... inside I was freaking out but outside I was like 'Yes, OK, let's do that'.  I mean, think about it, I've met Matt like, once, ever, and now I'm showing him my belly going 'get this tick off me!!!!!'... sheesh.  So anyway, the tick was removed, red faces occurred and sleep was had.  lol
I have no idea where the tick came from, how long it had been there... but if it wasn't for Matt is may still be there, so I salute you.
I'm off to a longform improvisation class tonight, so that shoudl be good.  Also watched the video from last years tourney... i got laughs!  I forgot that part!  I am feeling better about playing next week and Matt is now my official confidence boosting guru, he's one of those people who knows tjust what to say and when - I need more people like that in my life! ;)

Monday, July 26, 2004

Just finished my packing for my four day jaunt to Washington DC. Also had to re sort the CSz teeshirts... a bit annoying, I'm confused as to the whereabouts of a large number of teeshirts! KNowing me I've probably given them away and not to get more strict on that now we're becomming a business.
Found out today that the show we aer performing in at CSz Milwaukee will be televised!! SCARY!!!!!
Anyway, gonna have a bath now and get an early night... speak to you in DC?

Saturday, July 24, 2004

Well, I am currently hiding in my room as my dad is having a BBQ for his friends. It wouldn’t be so bad but they have kids with them and it feels too much like being at work, and I’m here to relax – it’s weird how meeting new people still makes my anxiety levels rise, considering that’s a huge part of my job nowadays.
I still haven’t heard how the rehearsal went, which is worrying. Or maybe it’s a good thing, maybe it went so OK mike is fine and not thinking he needs to get in touch… who knows.
I went out this morning to get some pictures developed and so had to wait around for a bit in Wal-Mart, I thought, yeah I can kill an hour looking at crap… I know this. Cos I’ve done it before. But it’s much more fun with my mum in tow. Anyway, I was just minding my own business and I noticed this guy walking past staring at me… he had a blue teeshirt on so I thought he worked there so I smiled so he didn’t think I was shoplifiting (I didn’t have a cart and may have looked a bit shady). Then about 3 minutes later he walked down another aisle and began talking to me. That’s when I realised he didn’t work there and was just being friendly. I managed to get away and look at the knitting wool… and he found me there again and asked me out! GAGH! Scary… I’m not used to that at all, and he seemed nice enough but, agh! I said ‘Oh I’m really busy, and I don’t think my boyfriend would be too impressed’.. after that he left me alone. He didn’t have a cart either, maybe there’s an unwritten singles code that means you’re there to pick up or get picked up…?

Havwe a feeling I'm going to be asked to go back downstairs now... so I'd better go
HI people - well, I'm here, got here safe and sound. Was so exhausted (my plan worked again) taht I just bombed out on the plane. I was actualyl worried check in may have thought i was on drugs or something, I coudl hardly focus!
Got here and it was muggy, and still is. Bought new shoes! Oh yeah baby. In fact, I bought tow pairs of new shoes, the sme, but different colours. Have raided 3 good wills so far!! I love those places.
I have also been bitten!! I usually dont have a problem with mosquitos, but my dad's car seem to have an infestation. So i have an itcy arm.
Popped down to Milwaukee last night to meet up with Jer, saw the new space = GORGEOUS!! Took pictures. Ate spinich rolls. Chatted with people. Freaked out a actlete cos I knew his name and stuff about him ;) I'd seen him play many times, but never spoke to him. Everyone was lovely to talk to as usual. and the practice show I saw was hilarious only I was asked for loads of suggestions and I kept freezing - I blame jet lag! I hope. Otherwise, maybe comedy is like my singing voice, it dwindles in this country (to do wih the pressure I am told)... yikes!
My parents have a BBQ with friends today so I am making fruit salad and tuna dip (so only one of the two things I am making I can actually eat!).
Tech Speak has a looong reh today - I hope it's going OK, but I"m ignorning it...
anyway - off now...

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

I want to make it publicly known right here and now - I AM A NICE PERSON!
OK, I may say some things maybe I shouldn't but that's only cos half the time I either don't mean them or don't think they should hurt people. I would never purposely do anything to hurt anyone. And I dont understand people who do.. I also dont understand people who enjoy not liking others.... at present there are probably about two people in the world I really dont get on with... but even then I am civil. I avoid conflict at all costs - I mean, what's the point of needless arguing? And what's the point of needless bitching? When I 'bitch' it's usually to sort through a problem I have, and then by the end am usually in a different frame of mind. I also like to think I am very aware of other peoples feelings and thoughts.
Even as a child I avoided the 'groups' of friends the 'who likes so and so and who doesnt' groups, and was usually on the end of abuse myself for being like that, but I battled through, because I really didn't see the point in it all. We all have to live on this earth, why make it any harder than it already is?
Since leaving high school I found my way and made friends who actually liked me for me.

So why now, ten years on, am I facing the same crap that I encountered at school? Maybe I am more outspoken once again, maybe I deserve it? But I dont think I do. I do everything I can to accomodate people. In my 'line of work' (I use 's as I dont get paid for the majority of it) it is all about people, and giving people (mainly children) a chance to try new things. To do that you must create a calm, comfortable and trusting environment. I have done this sucessfully for nearly 8 years, why now am I doubting my ability? Have I suddenly changed to begin getting challenged in these ways again?

I really care about 'my kids', in the multiple places I go to. I care about my pets, I care about my parents, I care about my friends and my boyfriend, I care about my sister, I care that people are sad and lonely and miserable in the world, I care that I can't always be there when someone needs me (this is when I usually seem the most selfish, as it is when i withdraw as I'm too annoyed with myself for not being able to help enough), I care about everyone... but maybe not enough about myself. Maybe that's where I'm going wrong. Maybe if I cared more about myself I wouldn't be in these situations i get myself in... maybe if I acted for myself and not for everyone else I could stop and think for a second before putting my foot in my mouth every time.

Who knows

Anyway... presesntly, I'm the most miserable I've been in a very long time now (check back on this blog!) and I'm about to get on a plane in a matter of hours! So I am not in the best frame of mind I will admit. I am tired, scared and on the verge of tears, although I dont really know why, I have not finished my packing as my cat just vomited in my suitcase... maybe that's what made me write this post?

Again, who knows.

All I know is I hate flying, and at times I hate how people are.

I am not looking forward to my holiday as I wanted to... it has been 12 months since my last one....

Goodbye for now - I will check in when I get to the other end, and I will hopefully be more cheery then :D



Sunday, July 11, 2004

Well .. things are getting steadily more stressful and weird...

I can't help but think my life's going to change dramatically in the next couple of months... I've been steadily working towards doing something with it and it seems to be happening - i just hope it doesn't turn out to be something that isn't good!

Off to birmingham tomorrow at 6am! godamn it!

Ugh... wont get home til about 11pm! (Eccles after that you see)


Friday, July 09, 2004

Well it's been a while hasn't it...

I have now graduated... THANK THE LORD JESUS GOD MARY JOSEPH BLAH BLAH... please dont read that line if it offends you... but as you will see this blog is a testement to my misery and depression that I endured on that sodding course so now it is well and truley over (apart from STILL not being given my final project work back! And writing THE letter of all complaints letters..) I am HAPPY.


The graduation itself was crap.. crap location, people, talk by the Director... apart from the fact that she mentioned me! Haha... bless.. they must have realised I am going to complain and wanted to sweeten me by saying how well I was doing after my degree - whatever... anyhoo... here's what I looked like that day....

And here's me now:

My haridresser refused to tkae any more off! AND she changed my parting.. lol... funny stuff.

Ste has decided to breka his arm so I am even more busy than I would be at present... going all over the country doing STUFF with a place... lol... whatever - I'm tired and going now....


Friday, July 02, 2004

my old hair... this is my hair from 2001, short, black and blue... I am thinking of getting my hair cut - below is my hair now... comments? Posted by Hello