My blog is pants...

Random stuff from the Bronster... especially good to read if you happen to like me.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

i was just about to get a really early night in preperation for my 5am get up time tomorrow (corporate event in Huddersfield) when I realised I'd not filled my blogging world in with the meeting we had at the Comedy Store yesterday...
well... basically
we went in there with a few questions and came out with more than we could dream!
Not only are we starting a whole load of new workshops (including Stand Up) there next January... we also start monthly shows there too!
Will keep you posted....

Sunday, October 28, 2007

This bit of the video I'm editing made me laugh... I think this is very much a 'mum' face.

OK... NOW the store match!
It was a textbook show! Thoroughly enjoyed by cast and audience alike...

To the point that THIS happened:

Darryl was MADE to dance by the audience..

It was such good fun,and I'm so proud of everyone involved. Daisy counted heads at about 120.. which I think is the most CSzUK has ever played to :)

And it was just amazing!

I love my guys - I love my show - wish us luck withe the meeting we have with the Store next week... :)

Just got back from Chris's new One Man Show... and my eyes are stinging.
He ended the show with a story I could sense he was going to tell right from the beginning, so I was on the verge of tears all the way through. Am not going to go into the story as it's a personal part of his life (albeit one he just told a room full of strangers, but there you go), but I remember when he told me the story. It was about a month or two after we split up. It was the first time I felt he'd ever really opened up to me. And he waited til AFTER we split up!
But then that was our relationship all over really, all over and all over the place...
I still care very deeply for this wonderful man, and I always will I'm sure.
He made me think about how much people can mean to other people. I mean, this is nothing new obviously... but he talked about how much he loved his friend. It made me think how much I love my friends. I mean really love them, care what happens to them, worry about them all that proper love stuff.
I can probably only count people I know on a hand and a half who fit into that category (not including family). I'd like to think they know who they are. But then again, maybe they don't...
John, goes without saying, but I love this man. We are so in tune with each other, make each other laugh stupidly. I am always happy to see him and want to know everything he wants to tell me. I've not felt this happy for ever.
Welch, I don't see nearly enough of her. We were chatting today on the phone, and it was fun, I usually hate the phone, she makes me comfy on it :) I am excited for her and what she does in her life, and I'm always interested in her writing - however busy I am and can't read everything she wants me to. I'm very proud of her.
KT, is one of the nicest people I know, she can always make me smile and see sense. I worry about her a lot, she's been through so much, but yet manages to keep smiling. She's also hilarious. I don't think she realises this, but I idolise her sometimes, she is one of those people you just wish you were.
Julian. I worry about him too. He's worth so much, and I don't think he realises it. If I could take all his worry's and insecurities away I would in a second. Without them I truly think he could take over the world.
Ben. Good GOD this man winds me up! But a hug is worth a million pounds. He's such a sweet man, he needs to open his ears a bit more sometimes though ;) He has an amazing gift, he can get people, figure them out, and he gives great advice.... sometimes ;)
Keya. We have a weird relationship. If we're in good moods we can piss ourselves laughing for hours. If we're in bad moods it's horrible. I care a stupid amount for this little girl... not that she's a little girl at all... but I always looked after her when we were little, and I'm sure I'll keep trying to do that even when we're old and wearing Tena Lady.
Jill. You are a new addition Jill! We seem to just click, I can't wait to spend new year with you :) It hurts my heart when I read about how stressed and anxious she gets and can empathise so much. We can talk about wacky silliness, and then stuff, like, about boys and stuff. She has brilliant dress sense and cools cars and furniture... i read somewhere she wrote about how she wanted to be like me.. well, I want to be like her.. maybe we can meet in the middle.
So then there's Chris. Little things that used to annoy me when we were together are now endearing. Which proves more how we were meant to be best friends and not partners. He has his faults like anyone, but he has the warmest and biggest heart out of anyone I know. When we were together I just wanted to fix everything for him, because he's such a nice person - nothing should hurt him. But I couldn't. No one can. You have to do these things for yourself... and in the last 6 months, it looks like, without me around, he's done that. And I'm so happy for him. I annoy him nowadays, I wind him up, he winds me up, he makes me cry, I make him cry... it's a vicious circle. But it's only cos I care so much for him. He knows that. He has a lot of people he can confide in, tell things to... a room full of people for one thing!
I have this hand full and a half of people.
and I love you.

Oh... and ps - the Store match ROCKED!!!!
I will write more about that when I'm not crying.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Well, unfortunately the workshops ended today. Out of 13 kids that signed up (with a possible 4 more) only 2 turned up!

So after two days we ended it

The kids that showed up though were great! I didn't really have much to do with it all as I've been working, but it sounds like, even with a tiny crowd, it was a success. The store even are talking about doing some more in the future! So that's always positive :D
The only reason I'm on this pic was cos Ben and Chris didn't have any CSz teeshirts on them!
(oh and Lupe, our american visiter, is on the pic too making up the numbers ;) )

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Calm before the storm... I've spent all day working today.. apart from a brief 30 seconds when I scared john.

He plays computer games.

I find this a bit annoying (I mean, why play computer games when you can play with me? ahem, well you know what I mean... and to be honest he doesn't play them anywhere NEAR as much as my last bf)... so as he's sat behind me i lean over and start whispering at his head phones 'they're coming to get you.. they're coming to get you'...

I watch his playing and it's getting a bit more irratic.... he starts searching around the 'room'...

'they're coming... they're going to get you....'

he keeps looking, I don't know how he's not noticed me, I'm right next to his face

'they're going to gauge your eyes out'

then he turned, saw me next to him and shat himself!


Made me wee with laughter.

Aparantly (and I didnt' know this) there are lots of little voices in this game, so he was looking around the 'room' to find where it was coming from, he had no idea it was me, or that I was sat right next to him.

He then ran out of the room and didn't come back for 5 minutes.

Mission accomplished.

Anyway... last night we had a CSz match... fairly good.. was Tavners first as Ref.. he did a pretty good job... held his own certainly.

We even played a fun last second decided game of Pick a Play... went well... video is on facebook.. and if you're not on facebook YOU NEED TO BE!

Friday, October 19, 2007

What a positive day yesterday!

We are well and truley gearing up for our match at the Store!

Walking in and seeing our faces up next to another Chorley bloke, Dave Spikey was quite exciting (and also Steve Royale who's playing the Store with Slaughterhouse Live too... which is brilliant by the way!!)
We started by appearing on Key 103 for about an hour, we played New Choice and Bad Movie and it went GREAT! Best radio bit ever! Loads of fun, and the host (Justin Moorhouse) just left us to it! Didn't try to crowbar in or anything, unlike other DJ's we've worked with before. Should have got someone to tape it :(
Justin was impressed by our ComedySportz mints... mental note... order more mints!
Then we went to the Manchester Comedy Festival Launch Party. A poor turn out I thought, but a nice atmosphere. After 2 hours of eating canapes we went upstairs to watch the Comedy Store Players.. yes, Richard Vranch, swoon. They seemed to struggle a bit at the start. But you could tell the audience was loving it, they just weren't used to it.

John had a little chinwag with most of the Players, I was too nervous and uncomfortable as usual, so I kept my distance.

After this we went for a curry at the place that is fast becoming my favourite curry house - Spicy Hut. Mmmm garlic curry! Nicest thing ever!

Right I have to go and return all the lovely equipment from the last project I did, today. Sad.
Oh, and I have decided I'm done with 'friends', I'm going to concentrate on Friends from now on.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Things have calmed down a bit since the weekend.
Am feeling much better, getting stuff done, not lettting it get the better of me.
Had a very productive meeting last night (which included FOOD! and very nice food too) and am getting more and more work flowing in (not quite flooding, but starting to get that way).
So things are looking good :)

My herbs are getting bigger every day,

I dont' think my spinach is having fun though... maybe that really should be planted outside :(

I am taking a break from everything for an hour and just bumming about online so I don't go insane... but in a second I'm going to catch up with some editing, and tidy the flat for when john gets back from his show :)
He's also stressing :(

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

all that sentence finishing gave me a new lease on life ;)
I just cycled into work... I am knakkered, but rather pleased with myself..
just dreading the cycle home....

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Something stolen off Jillio's blog... to help you learn more about yourself and all that... Living Responsibly

Sentence completion:
Sometimes when things aren't going well I make myself helpless by - being ill or pathetic
The good thing about making myself helpless is - i will get attention, and that makes me feel better about myself
Sometimes I try to avoid responsibility by blaming - people who are closest to me, then I would usually turn it on myself.
Sometimes I keep myself passive by - avoiding listening, avoiding situations
Sometimes I use self-blame to - make me realise what I need to do better. It sometimes comes across as sounding like I'm fishing, but it rarely is.
If I took more responsibility while working - I would be dead!
If I took more responsibility for the success of my relationship - I would be pleased, this is the best relationship tus far.
If I took responsibility for every word I utter - I would have sleepless nights
If I took responsibility for my feelings - I would probably be happier, my feelings usually make me ill.
If I took responsibility for my actions, moment by moment - I would get fit
If I took responsibility for my happiness - I would probably still feel like i didn't deserve it.
If the only meaning in my life is the meaning I'm willing to create - then I need to get on top of that. I dont' know why I'm here, but I love teaching. I suppose my meaning is to make other people find theirs?
If I were willing to breathe deeply and fully experience my own power - I would make the phone calls, chase the money and tell people I'm good and my company's good!
If I were willing to see what I see and know what I know - I would be so much more confident
Right now it is very clear that - I need to stop obessessing over things and people. i need to make MYSELF happy, not use other people to make that happen.

One of the ways I can take more responsibility in regard to ____is to _____.

work - make my own phone calls, be confident in what I do, and what I teach.

freelance work - tell people how good i am!

health - exercise. I am out of shape, not that I've ever really been in shape, but I'm at least two stone overweight, and I can do something about that if I really tried!

house - respect it more

art - perform more, rather than just organising it

comedy - enjoy it!

more sentence completion:

I practice greatest self-responsibility when I - doa good job, do my 'homework' on time and organise.
I most avoid self-responsibility when I - put things off, don't phone people cos I'm scared of the outcome. Don't approach things that need approaching
When I am self-responsible, I feel - a big bogged down
When I avoid self-responsibility I feel - a bit free-er, like it's not my fault
If any of what I am writing is true - erm... it is.

I don't know what I'm supposed to gain from that, but it felt interesting to do.
Imiss my cat, so much right now.
I have had a rotten day. Including panic attacks in public toilets, meeting ex bf's new girlfriend suddenly, lots of work, sore eyes from crying and a horrible painful lump in my armpit... just generally shit.
I want to cuddle my cat
And he has her too!
god I'm so miserable.... there's no real reason... granted i'm stressed... it's just a lump of many things.
I've put so much pressure on all the stuff that's going on the next few weeks I'm seriously starting to struggle to keep it together....
Let's hope I can

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Am taking a quick break from my editing before I go completely insane!!
Been revsiting my past a bit this week, for one reason or another, it's been a bit of a weird trip. Lots of hurt, confusion, lies, old friends, new friends, fun stuff... it's just been weird.
I have SO much work on at the moment, which is great, but it's just all getting on top of me a bit... i have shows all over the place in the next few weeks, schools calling up, two major projects to edit, two smaller ones to edit, workshops on weds and sats... my brain is going to explode!
I had to take this afternoon off work to finish the editing for tomorrow!
Anyhoo... I have a meeting in sheffield in a couple of hours so I'll be off...

Sunday, October 07, 2007

What a lovely day... John decided that I was far too stressed and kidnapped me for a day in the countryside... Cheshire countryside to be exact.
We went to lovely picturesque Beeston Castle. Walked up a very steep hill to get to the top, but it was worth it - the view was gorgeous. I was surprised how popular the place was though to be honest. Loads of families with little kids. We commented on how we tend to forget that there are 'good' parents in the world too, who care about their children's upbringing and sense of character to bring them to places like this. You get so bogged down with thinking that all kids are annoying little skallies (well you do if you work where I do sometimes ;) ).
So we wandered and chatted, and I took pictures (duh) and John took some pictures too, and then we headed back down.
On our way there we had seen signs for a place called 'The Candle Workshops' ... this sounded interesting to me so we decided to find it... this took us a weird way, as the road it was on was closed... on the way we discovered (thanks Sean for texting us about this! Sean is from this area) the Ice Cream Farm!

The ice cream was LOVELY! Proper fresh made stuff... in fact to prove it they had a little screen you could watch them making it in the back! As some bloke commented behind me while I was taking this picture "She's got no gloves on that one!" I suppose if you're sticking your hands in ice cream you want to keep them warm ;)

We then wandered over to look at the animals... they were cute, and desperately wanted a bite out of our icecreams - especially the goat! We then headed over to the falcanry and stared at some owls and falcans, who stared at us - some of the saddest birds I've ever seen... however, I suppose they are nocturnal, they may have just been tired.
After that we decided not to bother with the candle workshops, and headed home with our fresh farm eggs and various other random bits and pieces we bought (mmmm garlic lanacshire cheese!)

Just made some poached eggs and toast for tea... life is good again...



oh! and I nearly forgot to post the winner of the Gayest Duck Competition of the day...

Friday, October 05, 2007

life is great, and fun, and happy... but for the last couple of days I've just felt really sad... tonight I'm boardering on miserable... I can feel a slump heading my way... my brain's already drifting into the area of 'you're shit at everything' territory... I'm trying really hard to ignore it, but to ignore it makes my stomach hurt... it's weird.
am trying to get so many things done at once, it's driving me mad - even for me!
just needed a nice night in with my man, but he's away for the night... :(