cute recut of Waynes World:

a picture update... here is binx on my freshly finished blanket:

Feeling better today. Work was good, got some more stuff sorted (new CSz uniforms on the way :D), off out shortly to visit the Tavner... poor poor tavner.... he's back at his flat now after being in hospital for weeks! Bless him.
Putting more videos onto MySpace... getting my profile up ;)
Gotta run... am adding some pictures to past posts now I've got them off my phone, enjoy :D

A mixed emotion day... hung out with Ste (as it was his birthday) he came over to Manchester last night, watched some comedy with me, ate curry... was good. We went into town today, hung out... then I drove him back to Blackburn for a Birthday treat! ;) After that I went back to the house to pick up my mail and the like and was told a rather heartbreaking thing, which I wont disclose as I don't know how common knowledge it is... but needless to say, it's something that shoudln't be a big deal to me anymore, but for some reason is... I'll get over it anyway. And all in all, it's good news for the people concerned, so yay for that.
Then I got back and discovered that I'm in the Top 20 of comedians on MySpace! How strange is that?!? Go ahead, check it out! www.myspace.com, Comedy, Top Comedians (united kingdom) and there I am on page 2! Wowzer! Out of 1008!
Also the editor of The Stage got in touch today and is putting something in about ComedySportz next week, so that's exciting..
It's been a bit of a roller coaster of emotions today to be honest... plus this cold is not letting up... and now I have to do some work before tomorrow!
Blergh.
Anyway... there you go
x

not sure why I never put this on here.. think i wanted it to be a myspace blog exclusive... but last night to cheer myself up I recorded this:

A Thousand Miles

It's weird cos the backing is so good that you really don't expect my voice! ;) . I'm enjoying my own personal karaoke ;)

Work was good fun today although I have a nasty cold which is slowly making it's way around my students.

BRON
x

Had a fantastic day! I really do love my job! The new first years I am working with are great, and the second years, who I taught last year, are still great!
So I'm chuffed.
Feel sneezy, which is worrying. Also woke up, saw Dug and his parents off (they are staying tongiht, but watching Beth and Michael at the Frog right now) and just felt really lonely again. Chris is gigging :(
So I neeed to shake that off straight away or I'll get nothing done. I have to plan for tomorrow...
BRON
x

Well, I am far too organised for my own good it would seem!
It has only taken me 2 hours to plan my next 3 week workshop, and another 20 minutes to sort out my BA 2 tv acting!
Why you may ask... cos I'm a pro now ;) hehe, seriously though, I've been doing this for nearly two years now so I can just pretty much refer to my notes from the last times I've done it. Rock.
Don't know what to do with the rest of the day now to be honest, I was planning on having to do this all day, I got up 'early' after going to bed at nearly 4am to do it. Got to get back into regular sleeping habits really.
Next week I'm meeting up with Ste for his birthday, we are catching some stand up, then going for a curry, spending the next day in Manchester (I have Thursdays off for the next two weeks) that should be fun.
Time is ticking down for my first stand up gig! I should probably get writing it ;)

singy singy sing... spent this evening singing and the like. The only downside with recording things is i really don't have the patience to make things as perfect as they really should be. Which is a shame, cos they'd sound so much better. I think it's cos it's my voice, so I get frustrated... plus I've started to notice my lisp so much more recently! Especially on the first song.
Anyway, if you're interested, here are the two songs i did tonight... the first one is a song that Ben wrote and I made up the tune for called Brand New... then another musical classic.
Both are rough versions, need harmonies, some re-do's (tuning and the like) levelling properly and the like... but enjoy if bored.
BRON
x

What a fun afternoon. It was great getting the CSz Chorley and Manchester gang together. Played some fun games, got back into the swing of things. It's wonderful being in the Comedy Store too! Although there was a slight communication breakdown hoohaa when I arrived.
I'm looking forward to the match, and it was clear where some of the holes are. The walk forward games were imense! I counted 9 walk forwards just on Golf Ball! That's what you get when you fill a room full of comedians I think ;)
I even joined in, which is rare for me.
We have 14 people signed up for the next lot of workshops that start in two weeks. I want two more then I'm happy :D The money will buy us some lovely new shirts :)
I have a night of singing ahead. Ben and I are going to record the song we wrote months ago, properly, onto my computer. Hopefully we wont argue. Fingers crossed. Tommorrow I'm spending sorting out my workshop that starts on Monday, and getting all my work stuff together. I can't WAIT to get back to work! Seriously, can't wait. I'm even looking forward to the stress! hehe. I have to rearrange two lessons actually, cos they are going on when I'm supposed to be teaching the workshop! Booo hiss, but it means I get more hours. I've been given the maximum hours that a p/t tutor can have! So I'm chuffed. Yay.
Right I'm going to escape the computer for a bit now.
BRON
x

I love the dug:




and I updated Chris's site today too...

Things are looking up.
Wednesday was a good day (after spending most of Tuesday crying), I headed to meet a collegue who gave me some editing work, and then hung out at the Uni and just got to see people who I'd not seen for a while. I just felt a belonging again, and needed and wanted. It was good :) Plus a student came over and asked if I was teaching Third Year Radio (he was a good student too!), I said I don't teach third year. He was sad and said he only took it cos I made second year so much fun :D I was beaming. But i found out for him who would be teaching him, and he was fine with that too, which is good.
So i spent weds working. Then the evening I spent with Ben which was nice, we went through his set, and just generally chatted and caught up.
Thursday consisted of a visit from Julian and Dan, which was half fun and half work (Dan can be a bit demanding). But bottom line was it was fun and we all caught up and watched loads of stuff. Last night we went to Crewe to watch Dug, and he was great! He's really getting good! I only hope when I perform there in two weeks I am not an embarrasment. I am a bit excited, I hope I don't lose my nerve though.
Chris and I have been talking about flats, .... thats my thing to look forward to :D
Before that though we are still in a battle not to get our electric cut off! Ugh.
But things feel good today... PLEASE CONTINUE!!!

Currently sat in the living room on the laptop- Chris fixed the wireless! Soooo clever...
Just realised that I've not been out of the flat for days... i have a meeting at 12.30pm tomorrow then I may try and go to the gym.
I need something to look forward to, that I can think of whenever I feel bad... so I need to figure that out.

The dentist went fine. I have a couple of teeth they are 'watching' but apart from that, fine.
Nice relief.
Popped in to see Keya on my way back which was really nice, first time I've laughed for a while... not strictly true, but I know how I mean it. Good fun. She now has a MySpace, and it looks snazzy! Maybe she'll become as obsessed as I am....
It's getting to the point where I may share my MySpace project with you all... hmmm...
Chris is off work tomorrow, so hopefully I'll get some lamb time.
I slept for a few hours this evening before going on the radio. So I'm a bit out of it...
night

sorry blogger it's still all shit!
I have to go to the dentists today - WHY WOULD I BOOK THAT WHEN I ALREADY FEEL SO BAD!? God knows... I woke up feeling sick again. Only managed to get out of bed when Chris called at 11.
I had a nice day yesterday, and I wish it would have been what I needed to make everything OK, but really it's probably made things worse.
I want to run away so much. I honestly don't know how I'm going to cope the next few months living here, I hate feeling like this every day, and it's going to get worse I know it is.
I wish I wasn't me.

I blogged from my bed last night, from my phone... but it doesn't appear to show up. BUGGER! Just think of all that insight from my tired yet not sleeping brain... wasted!

Your Personality Is

Guardian (SJ) You are sensible, down to earth, and goal oriented. Bottom line, you are good at playing by the rules. You tend to be dominant - and you are a natural leader. You are interested in rules and order. Morals are important to you. A hard worker, you give your all at whatever you do. You're very serious, and people often tell you to lighten up. In love, you tend to take things carefully and slowly. At work, you are suited to almost any career - but you excel in leadership positions. With others, you tend to be polite and formal. As far as looks go, you are traditionally attractive. You take good care of yourself. On weekends, you tend to like to do organized activities. In fact, you often organize them!

The Three Question Personality Test

feeling a bit better today, misery just keeps swooshing over me in waves... if I only had more to be miserable about it wouldn't be so bad, but it's just nothing really, or at least it all should be... ugh
Had a fab workshop with the Grinventors gang! Really got into our flow, I think we chose the right small gang. I actually made them laugh!
I'm so convinced I'm not any good at performing, it's great to get a response! I think Chris is just starting to get pissed off about my shitty mood swings. We had a nice night last night then I spoil it by getting all shakey and shitty again. ugh
anyway... things will start getting busier again next week and then the week after I'm working every day so it's all good!
Couple of music suggestions: Intermission the Scissor Sisters and Hentrietta The Fratellis

Well, I just got back from the gym... on the way there I felt awful, even though a school just called me for a rebooking... then as soon as I walked out of the flat this song came on my walkman, which almost made me cry to be honest, it seemed to just say everything I was feeling... so I got on the cross trainer just as the song finished, then Chris called me to tell me that RBS want us for a corporate workshop, things just started to feel good then this song came on my walkman and I just felt a lot better... let's hope it continues...
Dug you're right about some songs :D

Feeling a bit better today, I've got to stop my brain for working over time thats the problem. Little things that upset me become huge things that just shut me down! Ridiculous!
I didnt' sleep well again last night hense this awful picture, but at least you can see my hair. I have been taking everything so personally for months, it's like I've just become hyper insecure, but the other side of that just suggest ego really! Why SHOULD everything be about me? I'm going round in a vicious circle.
The doc suggested an ECG just to set fears aside, then suggested a blood test, which just made me worse. She forgot that I had a stupid imense phobia.
I need to start setting myself things to do in the day again, I just get jealous of people in the house having fun, heavens knows how Chris feels about having to go to work everyday when people here are just pissing about.... ugh.
I can't wait to escape all this.

doctors went OK... will write more later

this is my 701st post... and it's a paranoid one... sorry
I just feel really lonely and sad at the moment, like everyone hates me and i'm worthless... I dont know why, it makes no sense at all, and I know it will pass... but that's why I've been so shitty for a while....
looked this up:

What Causes Heart Palpitations?There are many causes of heart palpitations. The most common causes are:

Exercise
Anxiety
Stress
Heart Disease
Caffeine, nicotine, cocaine, diet pills
Fever
Hyperventilation
Overactive thyroid
Anemia
Low levels of oxygen in your blood
Medications
Mitral valve prolapse

The first three are concerns... the rest I'm not sure about, and they're not sticking needles in me!
God I feel so messed up at the moment... it's always when things are going well!! Ugh!

OF COURSE! Just as I'm about to get my hair cut it starts looking good again! I feel strange today... my heart's getting weird again and I just feel rather emotional. Watching Godspell the movie has got my creative juices flowing... I WANT TO PLAY TOOOOOOOOOOOOO

my heart has calmed down a little more since yesterday!
THANK GOD, i was really starting to get upset.
Trying to make myself go to the gym now... I shall do dont' worry.
Just had a call from the Tavner! He's got himself in hospital!! Fell over playing football and wrecked his leg! Bless him.*sigh*
Still no Ben. I think he's been kidnapped by a lady. That's my theory anyway.
Someone's supposed to come and fix the roof today... but they probably wont...
Spent last night writing my 'set'... yes people, it's going to happen, I'm going to do stand up... give it a go anyway. It's really terrifying! Chris really helped me last night though. I love him, he rocks!
BRON
x

what an awful night!
I hardly slept, sat up watching some tv programme about weddings, then another about cheaters... my heart feels very messed up, palpatations with nearly every breath at the moment... i think I may go to the gym just for the fresh air.
Am burning off loads of stuff from my computer, now I finally seem to have a DVD author that works! Rock on!
Just about to do Road Rage, All Good and My Den! A Three Short Film Extravaganza! Actually after writing that I decided to add Big Brother into that! lol a VERY old film.... mind you, most of my longer ones are very old now... *sigh*

BRON
x

today was fairly productive, I went to the trafford centre, bought some books and dvd's relevant to work - and some CD's that weren't.... been having palpatations again, I think it's due to the stress of living here to be honest, in a state of constant anger. There's no need for it really, I'm taking everything way to the extreme, but even so I can't shake it.
I feel breathless and weird tonight, and my back has been hurting since yesterday so I didn't go to the gym.
Chris has gone to bed cos he's knakkered, I'm too awake to follow him... just did some of my accounts so that killed 20 minutes... I've been burning DVD's like mad today too... maybe I'll do more of that...
BRON
x

Your results:
You are James T. Kirk (Captain)

James T. Kirk (Captain) 70% Will Riker 65% Jean-Luc Picard 60% An Expendable Character (Redshirt) 60% Chekov 55% Uhura 50% Mr. Scott 40% Worf 40% Deanna Troi 40% Geordi LaForge 25% Leonard McCoy (Bones) 20% Beverly Crusher 20% Spock 19% Mr. Sulu 15% Data 14%

You are often exaggerated and over-the-top in your speech and expressions. You are a romantic at heart and a natural leader.

Click here to take the Star Trek Personality Quiz

THE LIVING ROOM IS TIDY!
It's such a big acheivement in this house I almost feel I should take a picture! But I shan't, cos it'll just piss me off even more again when it stops being tidy. Chris, Dug and I spent the majority of Sunday getting everything nice and tidy... yes, just three of us. But that's the way it always seems to go in this house.
United Utilities and British Gas still seem to think that WE owe them money, not the landlords. I just called them both. Chris is on the case with the Landlords... I REALLY wish I was on the lease right now, the mood I'm in they woulnd't be able to say no to friggin sorting it out!
I'm just generally angry at the moment. I hate living here now for various reasons. I can't wait to get out.
I'm going so mental for my own space I think I may actually take my room back from public use. Just to have somewhere I can 'be'.
New set of CSz workshops are filling up, about 1/3 full at the moment. After 2 days, that's not bad going really.
Really should go to the gym, but I don't know if I can make myself be bothered. I'm off to the Trafford Centre (don't stop me nowwwww) to track down some scripts that I can just get my hands on for a while to see if I can find a new one to do with my students. I've done most of the full plays I've directed already, and I need something a bit more serious I think... I dunno.
Anyway, off now
BRON
x

Last night was lovely. Went to watch Sean, Vicki and co in Jesus Christ Superstar. Overall it was a good show, I suppose after watching the snippet of Les Mis at the awards last month I expected to be totally blown away, and where as this was much better than the average school production, it didn't. Which was a shame. However all the gang in it were fab! And the ending was well done. Chris was most upset about the Herod, nothing like the big ginger gay mass that he played it ;)
I don't know whether in the last couple of years from teaching and directing so much my brain just becomes a mass of critiques, I can't seem to watch anything for what it is... or maybe it's my own insecurities that make me feel I have to be better than everything I see... lol, who knows.
All in all, a good show, made bad by the group of people standing BEHIND ME mumbling, sniffing, knocking the bannister into my chair... I PAID £8 FOR THIS SEAT MISTER! Maybe all that put me in a foul mood?
Vicki's voice was gorgeous, although she seemed rooted to the spot! I was sad cos I expected I Don't Know How TO Love Him (a song i detest) to move me, don't get me wrong it was no where NEAR bad, just seemed 'sung'... which is rare for Vicki. Sean was a rockin evil dude, aptly named Annus. ;)
Anyhoo, got to do some hoovering and tidying now, the Tavner is coming round and we're going to film some stuff.
BRON
x

OMG! ust found this clip of Ben Affleck... how embarrassing...

Had a nice night last night, we went to watch some comedy at Zumebar, it just so happened that ALL the Grinventors were there, which made me warm and toasty inside.

Just put out that the new ComedySportz workshops are starting up Octber 7th. Four people signed up already. I am really trying to get 20 on this course so the Store can make some money off our midday boozing and shmoozing. Tell people if you know them! Did that last sentence even make sense? Ahh well. I am tired, I didn't sleep to well, I had a really vivid dream that involved Jill and me being at school and Evan being really mad at me.. yeah that's a name we've not heard for a while...

I really should go to the gym so I'm going to move before I become planted here for the whole day.
It feels like Sunday...

BRON
x

OMG HOW MUCH DO I ROCK!
Last night I went to watch Chris at the Comedy Store - he did pretty well. In the competition I'd say he came joint third, only two people go through... damn. But he enjoyed it and that's what matters.
While there I chatted to the manager who has agreed to let us use a room there for FREE for my next lot of workshops. It was a long shot as far as I was concerned, but they are up for it!
Well chuffed.
Can't wait to get started again.
Not been to the gym today, got up and started redesigning the poster ;)

BRON
x

God I'm so angry!
Went to watch Allo Allo at the theatre, which was rather good btw but that's not what I'm here to talk about... as I walked in I heard
"Brianee, Briannee!".. I figured that must mean me, and I turned round to see our N*** rep (to keep annonynimty). He said hi and then handed me the review for Farndale. Said something about it being different to the one in the magazine or something? I don't know... anyway.... I read it in the bar and my heart just sank... the first two lines were just horrible.. basically suggesting that I didn't know what I was doing. Everyone in it was fab, but the play itself was crap. Now difference in opinion is fair enough, but was he said was that we didn't set the play right - as in played it with 'truth'... WHICH WAS THRE FIRST THING I TOLD MY CAST WHEN WE STARTED... this had to be believed as a show that is going to the dogs, not a load of people messing about trying to be funny... as far as I'm concerned we pulled that off, and him suggesting we didn't has just offended me, and made me sound like I dont know what I'm doing.
Yes I know I take these things to personally, and I need to start being stronger, but that has just made me feel like total shite.
Chris says so what, what is it really? And yes he's right, but it's the only time I've ever got a bad review and I suppose I'm gutted cos it was such a good show! No one left half way through (and that has happened before) no one sat there stolic not laughing (except maybe him)... I just don't get it.
Why oh why did he think I'd want that hand delevered.
"Brreeaineinnneee, here's your confidence-breaker in an envelope, enjoy".

Some review to leave the company on.
Gah.

just got back from the landlords... they are admitting this has been their error, so HOPEFULLY something will be done! Who knows though, they are a total waste of space, CHris reckons they're in the process of going under...

Off to the gym in a second, may get my hair cut today as well... hmmm
BRON
x

it just keeps getting WORSE!
Chris got a letter from United Utilities telling him that he owed them £590!
£590!!
From way back to before he even lived here....
after calling them and asking what the HELL was going on aparantly 2 weeks ago the landlord told UU that HE was supposed to pay the bill!
We are getting up early and going to the landlords and sitting there until this is all resolved.
Still no roofer.
I hate people again.
Chris doesn't deserve this shit... none of us do... and I'd quite like a functioning bathroom again

SKY WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?
Ugh...

some very funny videos to watch:

Went to a great night last night run by my friend and collegue Andy Norris!
Check out my review:

Sing-A-Long-A-Eurovision

Reviewed by Brainne Edge.

As soon as we sat down we knew we were in for a fun night, the production values stood out a mile, what I didn’t expect was a funny night – and for all the right reasons.
The evening was basically a mass karaoke for the audience in the chorus sections of each Eurovision hit (and some not so hits), while the verses were expertly executed by the four members of ‘Tacki’ Nils - Andrew Norris (also director and producer), Alfredo – Steven Swift, Lulu – Becky Little, and Anna-Fried – Fran Ellis.
Each song had a comedy hook which was well played. The highlight of the evening for me was their rendition of Gemini’s “Cry Baby”, this had me on the floor! Norris’ side glances of ‘What are you doing?!’ and Ellis’retorts of ‘I can’t hear’ carried it through to it’s natural conclusion of almost a punch-up at the last chord.
Their comic timing was spot on, Ellis particularly knowing exactly when to just move an eyelid to have the audience in stitches!
This is a show that is aimed at Pink Events, Gay weddings etc, but I feel that anyone with a fun loving nature and willingness to just sing along to some fun songs would enjoy every second of it. A must for Hen Party’s I’d say.
It’s camp comedy without the easy get outs, well thought through and well produced, with even an interactive scoring system at the end.
Good clean silly fun, be prepared to pray to the God of Cheese to ask for more!

The leaks are back! After a phone call AND a visit, where we were told a roofer was going to come round and fix the problem, THE LEAKS ARE BACK! Ugh.
Water is even getting in under the door now.
Absolutely FED UP!
Granted I'm easily wound up, bit this IS just taking the piss. I think the problem is that the flats they rent are primarily for students, so they are not used to people giving a shit about their living conditions - either that or they are used to just ignoring them cos they are "just students".
I have just videoed the continuous damage and may even put it up online. We'll see.
Dug has a friend staying this weekend too which is cramped at the best of times but with a not really in action bacthroom it's not going to be fun.
PLus I spent a lot of the day yesterday cleaning the kitchen and when I got up this morning it was ALREADY in a mess... and simple things just left around.
Annoying.
The only thing that makes it any better is our new picture of our Lord and Savious that has been formed from the mould and leakage over our bed. Amen
BRON
x

Here is a short vid of the continual damage: